Secrets in Plain Sight

I think I have a secret. I don't mean to have a secret but I think I have one nonetheless.

Are you ready? Here it is:
Recovery is possible. It's hard. But it's possible.

A student at a high school told me last week that recovery wasn't possible. She told me that, because she had never seen someone who had completely recovered, I couldn't be. I told her she was wrong.

I don't know how to explain that difference between "in recovery" and "recovered." I've tried multiple times, in different ways (I'll save that for a later post), but the only thing I know for sure is that I have turned the corner and am no longer "in recovery." I am RECOVERED.

I have too many friends who suffer. I write this post for them. I want them to know that it is possible. I don't want to lose my friends to an eating disorder, especially when recovery could be right around the next corner for each one of them. It will never be enough to just hope for recovery; it has to be an active process. But if you work for it, you will get there. They will get there.

The problem, as I see it, is that not everyone can pay for treatment. I was fortunate---my parents were able to provide me with the best doctors and the best care. But not everyone can do that. In a world of HMOs and insurance companies, too many people go without the care that they desperately need because they simply can't afford it. I want to save the world. But the world might be a lofty goal. Maybe I can just save a few individuals.

I have to think about the way to do it. Maybe it's a foundation that provides scholarships for treatment (there are too few scholarships out there). Maybe it's just by talking at schools the way that I have been doing. Maybe it's about sharing my secret. I'll start with just one way. I say it again: Recovery is possible.

There it is. I guess now the secret's out...

Finally, It Is Time

I'm not sure how to begin...

I've been thinking about this for days, but haven't come to any conclusions. I've reworked the title of this blog a million times. I've started and deleted more posts than I can count. But finally it is time. I will not delete this post.

I can't for the life of me understand why bad things happen to good people. Why do we suffer needlessly? Why do we run out of money when we most need it? Why do men discard women like we are possessions---to be used and then thrown away? Why don't we (they) notice it when we (they) have it so good?

And why can't I save the world? Even with all of my best intentions and idealism, I cannot change the way things happen.

I was at the NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) annual Gala Friday night. It was a wonderful night of dinner and dancing and awards. Dr. Cynthia Pegler got the medical contribution award. Zina Garrison, Olympic gold medalist, got the lifetime achievement award. And Allison Kreiger got the Youth Advocate award. It was an evening of community, caring and philanthropy. We were united against eating disorders. We were working toward the NEDA Mission of "a world without eating disorders." I don't know if I will ever see that day, but I will work hard to get there.

The work that NEDA (and other organizations like it) does is vitally important. It saves lives. But there is still work to be done. As long as eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness, there will still be work to be done.

We need scholarship programs to provide people with treatment even when they don't have the money or insurance coverage to pay. We need more helplines. We need more prevention and outreach programs. We need more people fighting for themselves in this life or death battle.

Basically, we need so much. I don't have the answers on how to get it. All I can do is point out the need and hope that one day we will get there.